{"id":46,"date":"2008-11-17T00:27:15","date_gmt":"2008-11-16T22:27:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bassmadrigal.com\/blog\/?p=46"},"modified":"2008-12-23T17:00:07","modified_gmt":"2008-12-23T15:00:07","slug":"student-suspended-over-suspected-use-of-php","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/bassmadrigal.com\/blog\/2008\/11\/student-suspended-over-suspected-use-of-php\/","title":{"rendered":"Student Suspended Over Suspected Use of PHP"},"content":{"rendered":"

I know this is old, but I have loved it for years. I try and share it every so often, just for those who have never seen it before. Today I found the original here<\/a> on BBspot.<\/p>\n

Jeremy<\/p>\n

\n

Wednesday \u00a0June 14\u00a010:10 PM EDT<\/p>\n

Student Suspended Over
\nSuspected Use of PHP<\/h1>\n

By Brian Briggs<\/a><\/p>\n

Topeka, KS – High school sophomore Brett Tyson was suspended today after teachers learned he may be using PHP.<\/p>\n

“A teacher\u00a0overheard him say that he was using PHP, and as part of our Zero-Tolerance policy against drug use, he was immediately suspended. No questions asked,” said Principal Clyde Thurlow. \u00a0 “We’re not quite sure what PHP is, but we suspect it may be a derivative of PCP, or maybe a new designer drug like GHB.”<\/p>\n

\"php_logo\"Parents are frightened by the discovery of this new menace in their children’s school, and are demanding the school do something.\u00a0 “We heard that he found out about PHP at school on the internet.\u00a0 There may even be a PHP web ring operating on school grounds,” said irate parent Carol Blessing.\u00a0 “School is supposed to be teaching our kids how to read and write.\u00a0 Not about dangerous drugs like PHP.”<\/p>\n

In response to parental demands the school has reconfigured its internet WatchDog software to block access to all internet sites mentioning PHP.\u00a0 Officials say this should prevent any other students from falling prey like Brett Tyson did.\u00a0 They have also stepped up locker searches and brought in drug sniffing dogs.<\/p>\n

Interviews with students suggested that\u00a0PHP use is wide spread around the school, but is particularly concentrated in the geeky nerd population.\u00a0 When contacted by BBspot.com, Brett Tyson said, “I don’t know what the hell is going on dude, but this suspension gives me more time for fraggin’.\u00a0 Yee haw!”<\/p>\n

PHP is a hypertext preprocessor, which sounds very dangerous.\u00a0 It is believed that many users started by using Perl and moved on to the more powerful PHP.\u00a0 For more information on how to recognize if your child may be using PHP please visit http:\/\/www.php.net<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I know this is old, but I have loved it for years. I try and share it every so often, just for those who have never seen it before. Today I found the original here on BBspot. Jeremy Wednesday \u00a0June … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[33,19],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/bassmadrigal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/bassmadrigal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/bassmadrigal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bassmadrigal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bassmadrigal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=46"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/bassmadrigal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":52,"href":"http:\/\/bassmadrigal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46\/revisions\/52"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/bassmadrigal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=46"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bassmadrigal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=46"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bassmadrigal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=46"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}